Apr 22, 2020
Note from Brent:
I chose to share this book
with you because it offers truth - some very ancient truth, applied
to life’s very modern problems. We live in unique times; as we are
the first generation (at least as long as we can see) to have been
taught two contradictory ideas about morality. Postmodernist
theorists, having dominated the latest landscape with their voice,
have seemed to have succeeded in pushing that:
1) “Morality” is relative in their eyes. That there is no such thing as right or wrong in anything. That it depends on the frame of mind, culture, or situation..
AND
2) "Absolute Tolerance" of someone else's ways is of utmost importance..
This emphasis on ‘tolerance’ is “so paramount that for many, one of the worst character flaws to have now is to be (what we call) ‘judgmental’. And since we don’t know right from wrong, or what is good, just about the most inappropriate thing an adult can do is give a young person advice on how to live.”
There are 12 Rules, but Brent covers the 4 he felt were most relevant to millennials:
#1: Rule 1 of 12: Stand up Straight with Your Shoulders Back
- Your posture is directly tied to your levels of serotonin produced.
- This is part of a psychophysiological loop that is real and proven in science.
- Leave it to one of our most ancient ancestors, the lobsters, to show you just how innate this is.
- To stand up straight with your shoulders back will change your biochemistry for the better. Inversely, to slouch over will produce the opposite effect.
- Additionally, people and the world in general will treat you according to the vibe you give off (expecting to handle situations, or expecting to hide away. Expecting to be the victor, or expecting to lose out.)
- To stand up straight with your shoulders back also means standing up metaphysically; telling the world you are voluntarily accepting your burden and missions. Being someone, they can look to for strength, and not the other way around.
#2 Rule 2 of 12: Treat Yourself Like Someone You are Responsible for Helping
- This is a call to treat yourself better. In all the ways that you know you should.
- Unfortunately, data shows that we tend to treat ourselves with less respect than we treat others. For example, did you know people are better at administering prescriptions medication to their pets than to themselves?
- The hard reality is that we the individual know all of our details more than anyone else does. All of our faults and failings. Every little thought. Because of this, it’s too easy to see others as “good” and “worthy of respect and care”, while seeing ourselves as “less worthy of care”.
- Change your framework. Detach from yourself. See and know that from another’s perspective, you are just as needed and deserving of true care.
- Use that detached view as a reminder that you should treat yourself with respect. You are just as deserving. Just like you feel your dog is, or your grandparent or child is. The truth is, you are deserving of that love and care.
- This doesn’t mean an excuse to making yourself “feel good” all the time. It means things you don’t want to do as well. For example, you’d tell someone else; “grandpa, take your pills!”, or “son, you have to get your workout in each day.”
#3 Rule 4 of 12: Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not to Who Someone Else is Today
- We are aiming creatures. We are built with an innate desire to improve, to aim, to reach. And we tend to compare to someone else.
- Each individual has an infinite number of dimensions taking play into who they are, where they are, etc. So why do you logically think it’s reasonable to compare one dimension of your life to one dimension of theirs?
- The only logical true comparison for your improvement is to YOU; to who you were yesterday. You are the only one with the same number of exact factors that played into who you are.
- To improve and to achieve your aim, start simple if you must. Stop tyrannizing yourself with “I shouldn’t have to make myself do this, I should be motivated.” Or “This high achiever I know could get 10 things done in the same amount of time.” Truly, who cares. Do the thing you need to do. Give yourself a little pat on the back, celebrate in a simple way, whatever. Then do another one. Check a box as you track your improvement of who you were yesterday.
- And best of all, STOP doing things you think you’re SUPPOSED to do because that’s what some other guru said he is doing. Master the art of asking yourself a simple question: “What could I do, that I would do, that would make life better, or reach my goals, etc.” Go quiet. Ask that. Get your answer and just do it and make your moves.
#4: Rule 6 of 12: Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World
- The hard reality of life is, that it can be hard. There are hardships.
- This can unfortunately lead to resentment and hating of the world, God the creator, society, etc. as a whole.
- This can also fortunately lead to Transformation. Transformation of one’s self and ultimately of the world; for the better.
- It truly is how you choose to slide one way or another.
- Jordan asks a simple ask before you slip into “criticizing the world or being itself”; to take responsibility for your life (your house, your setup) first, before you go criticizing the world for all of your problems.
- Make this attempt one simple step at a time, and one will see that his or her free will and choices are of utmost importance. Yes, some things are uncontrollable, but even with those, one can respond in a way that changes the world for the better.
- Hard examples to swallow, but true ones, yet very hidden because life slips slowly at times, are ones like these: When New Orleans flooded, we couldn’t have prevented the hurricane. But the Flood Control Act of 1965 mandated improvements in the levee system. The system was to be completed in 1978. 40 years later only 60% of the work had been done. Willful blindness and corruption took the city down. Prevention of disasters was possible. We had the foresight and attention at one time.
- We can relate this to: What slippery slope (that we could have stopped with better actions) caused what ‘seemed’ like an acute uncontrollable event? A filing for divorce, a diagnosis of a disease, being fired. Let us first ask “Was there a trickle of work or lack-there-of over 40 years that could have prevented this?”
How to contact Brent:
brent.michael.vogel@gmail.com
Interested in reading the full book? Click here to buy 12 Rules for Life, or visit jordanbpeterson.com/12-rules-for-life